Tap your feet keeping time to a beat of a song while you're singing along.

People often like certain songs because they remind them of something in their past. Regardless of whether or not the memory attached to that song is pleasant, the past is usually a comforting retreat. Life is unpredictable. Most days might be monotonous, but eventually a change occurs. When one is not comfortable and cannot easily cope, a old tune may remind him or her that the trouble will end.

For me, music can be a very personal thing. I think it’s safe to say that my iPod catalog is unique (mostly a combination of jazz, classical, and rock from the 60s & 70s). I often expect people to feel the same way that I do about certain songs, but they do not have the same memories.

More on this subject later…

You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas. Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dallahs.

I’m about to watch Lost. I’ve heard the names of a lot of characters, and I know there’s apparently some ongoing supernatural fight between good and evil. Oh, and there was a plane crash a while back. So here’s a little play-by-play on my thoughts during the 2.5 hour episode.

Minute 5: Who are these people?

Minute 12: My mosquito bite itches.

Minute 17: It seems like every bald man is evil (unless it’s Patrick Stewart…usually)

Minute 25: So babies make you remember things that may have happened in a different reality?

Minute 27: Inception looks pretty crazy too, but it won’t take a 6 year commitment.

Minute 31: Which one is McDreamy?

Minute 41: I’m glad they seem to address each other by name a lot.

Minute 80: This reminds me of the third Matrix movie, which isn’t a good thing.

Minute 90: I’m not sure all of the jobs I would be good at doing, but I could NOT be a TV personality on a morning news/talk show.

Minute 105: Apparently everyone on this show hooked up with somebody.

Minute 117: Has anyone else seen The Langoliers?

Minute 150: So yeah…when you die, you go to the Matrix run by heaven. The island is important too, for some reason.

I wonder what fans of the show thought about the ending. Nothing too shocking seemed to have happened. It’s nice when shows end. I watched every episode of Heroes, which was mercifully cancelled recently. Watching an ambitious drama series is hard (just like writing something for a blog every week).

Bash in my brain, and make me scream with pain.

I’ve failed. I didn’t put together a blog this week. I’d like to apologize to all my fans out there. Reparations will be made. Here’s a cute picture of me.

When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

This week I didn’t have time to type anything myself; however, I did find an article from the late 1950s with an interesting commentary on Elvis Presley's "Jailhouse Rock". Please enjoy.

Rock and Roll is the newest (and perhaps the most harmful to date) pop music fad. Targeting kids, these songs are loud and often filled with sexual references. Here I will point out the harmful lyrics of a recent rock and roll hit.

The warden threw a party in the county jail.
The prison band was there and they began to wail.
The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing.
You should've heard those knocked out jailbirds sing.

I suppose the warden of a jail attempts to reward inmates with entertainment as a way to stave off unhealthily poor morale, but this “party” seems to have gotten out of hand.

Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone,
Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone.
The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang,
the whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang.

While I’m sure music is a fine way to reform outlaws, a saxophone may be the lowest form of musical instrument. There mere fact that they are almost exclusively found is jazz music should be enough evidence to conclude that saxophones lead to an even greater disdain for the law. Additionally, “blowing” on a trombone hardly sounds respectable. The Purple Gang were infamous bootleggers in Detroit and would no doubt be smuggling alcohol in the bass and piano.

Number forty-seven said to number three:
"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see.
I sure would be delighted with your company,
come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me."

Homosexuality is not a suitable subject for a song targeted towards children. Please note that 47 and 3 equal “fifty”- only two letters away from “filthy”.

The sad sack was a sittin' on a block of stone
way over in the corner weepin' all alone.
The warden said, "Hey, buddy, don't you be no square.
If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair."

Here the warden coerces a man who is already on solid ground into joining the debauchery. Furthermore, he intimates that the acquisition of “things” is the only way to gain acceptance. I suppose being a “square” means that you wish for a better life than being locked up in a jail with murderers and perverts.

Shifty Henry said to Bugs, "For Heaven's sake,
no one's lookin', now's our chance to make a break."
Bugsy turned to Shifty and he said, "Nix nix,
I wanna stick around a while and get my kicks."

This final verse nicely summarizes the dangers of rock and roll. Even though I certainly don’t endorse jailbreaks, the song glamorizes the allure of rock music. The inmate would rather stay and listen to the cacophony than escape to the free world. This kind of thinking will most likely lead to youths seeing prison as the “hip” place to be. When the crimes rates start to go up, you will know why.

Written by: Merle M. Kramkin

I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus.

Oedipus Rex was told by an oracle early in his life that he would kill his father and mate with his mother. Despite his best attempts to avoid this fate, he fails. Marty McFly might be the 1980s Oedipus.

At the beginning of Back to the Future [1985], Marty McFly is shown as a somewhat typical high school student. It is not clear how his fellow students feel about him. He has a girlfriend and fronts a band, but he never seems to mention any friends other than an eccentric scientist in his 60s. While his family seems generally stable, his mother drinks too much, his mid-twenties older brother is stuck in a fast food job, and his 20 year old sister is hopelessly single. Then there’s his father. George McFly works as an underling at an office where the high school bully is his superior and continues to exert his dominance over him even thirty years after graduation. Presumably the only reason George ever attracted a woman is by getting hit by a car whereby the driver’s daughter falls for the victim. Marty does not want to grow up to be a boring wimp without any dreams like his father.

After going back in time to 1955, Marty jeopardizes his own existence by instinctively saving his father from getting hit by a car. Conversely, Oedipus kills his father, the King, during a traffic dispute involving chariots. These occurrences are the first catastrophes in their lives. While Oedipus starts to fulfill his fate, Marty begins to unravel his. Neither realizes it at the time. Marty is taken in by the driver where he becomes the new object of desire for his mother. Oedipus soon wins the crown and the hand of the Queen
(his birth-mother).

Marty then consults with his own oracle and realizes the damage he has done. Unlike Oedipus’s selfish motives, Marty’s troubles result from good intentions. This difference may serve as the basis for how each individuals stories end. Oedipus does not know that he was adopted. He thinks his efforts to cheat fate were successful until he discovers the woman he married and the man he killed were his true parents. When he learns the truth of his actions, he gouges out his eyes: never to see again. When it appears Marty’s plans failed, he begins to vanish: never to be seen again. Fortunately, George’s knockout punch changed his passive demeanor.

It is interesting to note that Marty’s success was not due to his own scheming. His plan to have his father win the heart of his mother is doomed to fail. Marty was clearly not going to be able to upset his mother enough to justify George’s entrance as a savior. Even if the plan did go as they expected, it is likely that George’s faux courage would not have been enough to keep the admiration of his would-be future wife. Without genuine pity from her or genuine gumption from him, the relationship would have failed. Only through a true change in personality is George able to become the man he dreams of being.

Ultimately, Marty McFly really does not change much during the course of the movie. Other than a new found respect for his father and mother, his life is not all that different when he returns to 1985. Sure his family members lead healthier lives (and he has his own truck), but his place in the universe has remained the same. Marty’s development is only apparent immediately after his family is preserved through the kiss on the dance floor. It is here that Marty (mostly) successfully rocks out in front of strangers and gets a little closer to his dream of being a rock star. This breakthrough could be a direct result of his father’s new way of life, but it is not clear. Perhaps fate cannot easily be avoided without a time machine and an electric guitar.

Here's a cure for all your troubles.

I have decided to do something that is at least somewhat creative. This blog should be a little quirky and will generally focus on over-analyzing movies & music more than most people do (or should do). My first entry will not be all that funny or insightful, but it will at least be about something with which people are familiar. I can’t promise every week will be about a well known subject, but learning is fun! My brain DOES contain a lot of junk nobody else cares about. Also, I apologize that many entries will not achieve high academic standards, but it’s just the stupid internet. I plan on keeping up with this weekly blog for AT LEAST two months. So everybody get ready for some wonderfulness the day before we all go back to work to have our spirits drained again.